MONROE, CT — Luna, a young trans woman enrolled at Masuk High School, recalled an incident her junior year, when she walked by a group of male students in the hallway, who were heading in the opposite direction. One boy called her a gay slur under his breath.
“Although the experience did initially annoy me, I didn’t let it mess up my feelings of who I am,” Luna said, “and I transformed that annoyance into motivation to lean into my identity. This lets people know they can’t get to you and they never will.”
Luna shared her story at the Pride Flag Raising in front of Monroe Town Hall Saturday morning.
Superintendent Joseph Kobza told the crowd that students still sometimes say inappropriate things about LGBTQ+ people at school, but that the behavior is not tolerated.
“To all our LGBTQ+ kids, I say this every year and I truly mean it, please continue to live your authentic lives,” Kobza said. “That’s the most powerful thing you can do to make a difference and I applaud you and your courage for doing so.”
Overall, Monroe was described as a welcoming place by those who spoke and shared their stories on the cloudy morning.
The flag raising was organized by Monroe Pride in celebration of Pride Month. Janice Persico, who is a Town Council member, served as the master of ceremonies. She and Nina Gagnon did the honors, raising the rainbow flag together.
Local clergy were represented at the ceremony. The Rev. Jennifer Gingras of Monroe Congregational Church led the opening prayer, and The Rev. Derek Stefanovsky of St. Peter’s Grace Episcopal Church led the closing one.
Among the speakers were students, former students, Kobza and State Rep. Tony Scott, R-Monroe.
Scott said he has spoken with Nick Kapoor, the organizer of Monroe’s first annual Pride flag raising, about bills in Harford and “what makes sense” for the LGBTQ+ community.
“That’s not me, but I’m here as a supporter, so I need to understand and to listen,” Scott said. “If there is legislation or anything that might come up, use your voice, please.”
Scott encouraged people to approach him with any concerns, so he can make their voices heard as their representative in Hartford.
“Monroe is an inclusive town,” he said. “Is there work to do? Absolutely. It’s very disappointing to hear Superintendent Joe Kobza talk about the fact that there are still words being used at Masuk High School that shouldn’t be used.”
Scott said he would have a conversation with his two daughters, who are sophomores there, to make sure they’re not among those offending and, if they hear something to say something — “talk to people, educate people and let them know that those words aren’t right.”
Kylie from Growth Therapy in Monroe, an open and affirming therapy practice, talked about its mental health services, group, individual, family and couples counseling, and fun events, like drag shows, throughout the year. She invited anyone who wants to, to become involved.
Other groups and businesses represented at the Pride flag raising were The Center for Family Justice, Hartford HealthCare, the Masuk Stage Group, and Common Threads, a local family that created and sold T-shirts for the event.
Genuine support
Jordan, a Masuk student whose pronouns are they/them, talked about their journey exploring gender, as well as their struggle with mental health. Jordan said they are in a good place now.
Jordan also discussed the importance of respecting all view points and about being patient with those trying to accept change.
“We’re all human. We all need time to adjust to transitions,” they said.
Jordyn, another young speaker, called her grandmother a “true ally.”
Jordyn also told the story of her sister, who grew up in Ohio and was left out of birthday parties, just because she has two moms.
“She’s been afraid to wear a rainbow bracelet, afraid to be anything but straight — even with two moms,” Jordyn said. “That breaks my heart, because no kids should ever feel their identity needs to be hidden to make someone else comfortable.”
“We’re all lucky that we live in Monroe,” she said. “Monroe isn’t perfect. No place is. But sometimes I have to take a step back and realize how much better I have it than many places. And that’s not by accident. That’s because of the people in this community, people who speak up, people who care, people who want to do better.”
Jordyn recently enrolled at another school and recalled a time when a teacher, who overheard her talking to another student about Pride flags, asked about the meanings.
“I laughed it off, but she said, ‘really, I want to know,'” Jordyn said. “Ally-ship doesn’t have to be loud and powerful, it has to be genuine. It’s in the asking. It’s in the listening. It’s in the willingness to grow. To be supportive, you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to try.”
‘Pride isn’t about anger’
Jonathan Ganino, who grew up in Monroe and now goes to college, took a moment to remember those who could or would not show their true selves to the world, or whose lives were lost to suicide.
Ganino spoke about those “who face discrimination every day due to unfair systems and unjust oppression at the hands of people, who would rather cover their eyes and close their ears than to see our community, and to hear our truth, because we make them uncomfortable.”
He said Pride is “about being proud of who we are in spite of those challenges, in spite of the names we’re called, the glares given to us, the invisible wall put up between us and our goals.”
“We don’t have to accept those walls,” Ganino said. “You can climb them, break them, walk through them. You don’t have to let them stop you. But Pride is also about responding to people with kindness and education.”
He noted how some views and ideals are even more dangerous than protests and hate speech, because those who have them may not even know they are harmful.
At a swim practice, Ganino said someone told him that he knew he was gay, because Ganino has long hair.
“He didn’t mean this in an offensive or an angry way,” Ganino said. “It was just a misunderstanding of me and the community. I had the choice of acting in frustration or education — and I’m happy I chose the latter.”
Ganino responded by saying, “hey, that comes off as a little rude. I just wanted to let you know that.”
“And he accepted that,” Ganino recalled. “He accepted how it made me feel, how it could potentially harm other people and make them feel. I just want to remind everyone that Pride isn’t about anger and hatred.”
